Teen dating violence is more common than most people know, according to counselors at Youth Eastside Services (YES).

One in four teenagers is in a violent dating relationship. And 40 percent of teenage girls say they know someone their age who has been physically abused by a boyfriend, the Eastside agency reported. Lasting effects can be poor self-esteem, drug abuse, teen pregnancy, eating disorders, permanent injury and even death.

Violence takes many forms, YES officials added. It can be jealousy, possessiveness, threats, name calling and demanding behavior as well as slapping, pushing and shoving. Frequently it starts as non-violent controlling behaviors and escalates. While most commonly the boy is the aggressor, girls can be as well, and it can happen in same sex relationships, YES officials said.

YES advises parents to ask their teens the following questions in order to help them evaluate their situation:

* Are you frightened by your boy/girlfriend’s temper and moods or afraid to disagree?

* Are you always apologizing for the way they act?

* Do you have to give a reason for every place you go and every person you see?

* Have you stopped seeing friends or family because of your friend’s jealousy?

* Does your boy/girlfriend put you down?

* Have you ever been hit, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at you?

* Have you been forced to have sex when you didn’t want to?

* Are you afraid to break-off a relationship because the person has threatened to hurt you or him/herself?

YES officials say that if parents suspect dating abuse, the first thing to do is talk to their teen about their relationship. Although some young teens might think this is a normal part of dating, parents can help them understand it is not.