By Bellevue College Parent Education program

Once upon a time babies were born into a world that moved more slowly. As technology opens up endless possibilities for sharing and collaboration it also blurs boundaries between work and home. Our devices beckon us day and night. We take pride in multi-tasking as life gets busier and everything feels more urgent.

But while life moves faster for adults, babies are new to this world. Their needs are very basic. They are easily over-stimulated and their natural pace is much slower. With endless bids for our attention how do we respect their developmental needs and slow down to match their rhythms?

Babies learn about relationships in their first year. Until they are able to use and understand language, babies rely on non-verbal communication. They learn about relationships by the way a parent looks lovingly into their eyes, by the softness of the parent’s voice and by the gentleness and respectfulness of their touch as babies are bathed and diapered.

Respect is key – giving them your undivided attention during routine care-giving helps babies feel their care-givers love and tender caring. This helps them feel secure so that they are comfortable studying the shadows on the wall, examining their toes or carefully exploring play objects without needing adult entertainment or stimulation at other times.

Respect is telling them what you are going to do, “ I think you’re hungry, I’m going to pick you up so I can feed you.” Respect is giving them a few minutes to see if they can settle themselves when they are fussy. Respect is balancing their need for your careful attention and care with uninterrupted time to do their “baby work” – laying comfortably on the floor strengthening their muscles in preparation for sitting, crawling and walking, working to grasp a toy that is almost within reach – trusting their innate curiosity and motivation to figure some things out on their own and allowing them to develop the confidence that comes from doing so.

When a parent is distracted and their attention is divided, babies do not experience the attention and caring they need and are less comfortable exploring independently. Being fully present at some times, allows both parents and babies to be independent at other times, enabling both parents and babies to attend to their own “work,” comforted by the security of their relationship.

To learn more about the Bellevue College Parent Education program, visit: www.bellevuecollege.edu/health/parented.